Animator, Skateboarder, Pastor
I’m fast approaching my fortieth birthday. I’ve heard people have midlife crises sometime after this milestone. I’m not sure when that will happen, but apparently it will, they say.
The first real job I wanted was to be an animator. I loved all the Disney movies, Don Bluth films, and whoever made The Brave Little Toaster. I drew and painted a lot when I was younger. I wasn’t amazing, but I was pretty good. I won a logo design contest in third grade. I think that was my peak. I still have a bunch of my high school paintings and drawings in my office at home to remind me of my childhood dreams.
My second career aspiration was to be a skateboarder. Again, I wasn’t that good, but I was good enough not to embarrass myself. This was back when you had to go to your local skate shop and hope you had a rich friend who would buy the VHS tape. I think I only ever owned two skate tapes: Zero’s Misled Youth and a DC video with Danny Way going nuts.
I loved the freedom of skating. I loved the grind of learning a new trick, no pun intended. I also liked its rebellious nature. But all my amazing friends at skating were complete potheads, and I didn’t want that life.
My third career was to be a pastor, which is crazy to think about now. I was only thirteen or fourteen when that thought popped into my mind. My first paid job was doing maintenance and yard work at my local church. I ended up going to a nearby Bible college, then got a job at the largest church in Southern California, where I haven’t left. I’ve had a bunch of different roles and enjoyed every single one. I feel extremely blessed when I think about my career path so far.
I now think more about my kids' future careers than my own. I pray a lot about the paths my kids will take. My oldest is fast approaching sixteen, and I’m trying to figure out how to pay for college for him and the other two behind him. I’m not sure how that math works out, but it will.
A Couple Things I’ve Learned Before Forty
I’m wired to solve hard problems. I can’t do something that anyone can do. If it’s hard, I get great joy from figuring it out. I’m always looking for something harder. Once my job becomes too easy and repetitive, I start looking for something new.
It’s really about the journey and not the destination. Yes, what you do is important, but honestly, the growth along the way is what gives me the most fulfillment. I’ve enjoyed the path that got me to where I am today, and I’ve mostly loved it all. I know this to be true from watching my kids grow older. Every stage of their development is amazing, but the next phase is even better. I wouldn’t want to go back or forward. I love where we are right now. The same thing is true as I look back on my career while approaching my apparent midlife crisis.
Fifty percent of why I do my job is the tasks I have to do, but honestly, my job fuels the more important things in my life: my family. Yes, I want to do cool things, but ultimately, I work hard so my wife is provided for, my kids can have a better, cooler life, and we get to do it together. I’m extremely spoiled. None of my career accolades will come close to who I married or the kids I have. You could delete all the titles I’ve had and the book I spent way too much time writing and leave me with my family. That is my greatest joy. I think about this a lot when I’m in a difficult moment in my career. I don’t rage-quit because my job fuels my primary goal for existing and working hard. As a man, my family is why I work. Yes, I do get dopamine hits when I succeed. Yes, I work hard because I’m addicted to working hard. I do it very much for myself, too. It is my only real hobby in life, but I really do it because of what it provides. It gives me the family I wished I had growing up. The Apostle Paul says it best in 1 Timothy 5:8: “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” My real calling in life is to provide for my family. This is why I don’t just quit when I have a hard day. I have priorities. Also, when things get hard, it’s just another problem for me to try to figure out.
I don’t think my priorities will change when I hit this midlife crisis. I might find a bigger problem to solve. Who knows? I can’t wait to see how God challenges me in the future. Every turn in my life has opened up new doors that I didn’t expect. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I do hope that one day my kids read this and that it encourages them to follow a similar path in life, not necessarily the same roles, but the same way of thinking, so they don’t have a midlife crisis like so many others do.
By the way, my favorite painting I ever did was of me ollieing a three stairs in my hometown of Seal Beach, CA. It combines my animator dream, my skating dream, and the fact that I was thirteen years old in this shot, about to come to faith in Jesus and decide that I wanted to work for God for the rest of my life.
It hung in my grandparents’ house until they passed away. I'm grateful they saved it. It now hangs in my office as a reminder of everything God has done in my life and all the possibilities ahead of me.
